This post is an introduction to a series of posts that deals with the delicate interplay of factors affecting one’s ability to experience sexual pleasure as we age. This topic is relevant to both of my websites: IntimacyAndAging.com and VirginiaLaken.com, a blog about living with MCI. The series will be published on my other blog,…
MCI (Mild Cognitive Impairment)
On this blog, I share my story of coping with an MCI diagnosis, how it has affected my lifestyle and the tools I've learned to preserve or improve my quality of life. Click here to learn what the condition is, and click here for my introduction to MCI.
The power of steadfastness and touch
This post deals with the value of having a live-in partner, caregiver or helper. If that is not your current situation feel free to ignore. I’m 73 years old, Keith will soon be 74. Some would say that’s not “old” but to me, it is—in many ways I didn’t anticipate. I expected my limbs would…
How long have I dealt with MCI? (The answer that totally surprised me.)
Disclosure: in this post I write about my fear of dying. If that’s not something you want to read, feel free to skip this one. For the last three weeks I’ve been in a funk, unable to write. It’s a significant loss for me, because writing is how I sort out my feelings, unearth my…
How I stay positive with MCI
Last week a good friend of mine commented on how rarely I write about being discouraged, depressed, sad, or even angry about the fact that I have memory and cognitive loss. She added, “You have many positives going for you: a very supportive family; you’ve lived in the same small town for thirty years and…
Adaptations, adjustments, alterations
Exercise is one of the consistent recommendations for maintaining and stabilizing one’s cognition and memory. Two of the standard suggestions are walking and yoga, and I do both. I live in Minnesota, so walking is often weather-dependent. On good walking days, my husband and I take our two dogs on a short ride into town…
I matter
This past week I experienced a major shift in my emotional reaction to my memory and cognitive losses. I have often focused on what I have lost and what I can no longer do, and projected on the future…picturing myself being of less and less value to my family, my friends, my community. During these…
Clutter, sorting & downsizing
I’ve lived in the same house for thirty two years. We built it when our children were in high school; it is a beautiful home in a beautiful setting. We have a view of the Mississippi River from our front windows and back up to acres of native and undeveloped tree-covered bluffs full of wildlife…
Body memory and making love
I’m posting this essay on both of my blogs; here at virginialaken.com which deals with MCI and at hopeforcouples.com on which I write about aging and intimacy. I’m doing so because emotions and love are integral components of both areas—at least in my experience. While I try to be generally optimistic, stoic and hopeful—(certainly, I…
My new approach for with negative thoughts
“A negative thought can be sensed before it reaches the mind…” When I read this discerning statement this morning during my mediation time, I wrote in my journal: “I would add, in addition to negative thoughts, the same is true of thoughts of loss and self-pity. So many times I focus on what I can…
Caregiving for myself
Throughout my journey with MCI, my caregivers have played an evolving and ever more important role in my quality of life. Keith is an excellent caregiver—and getting better all the time. He’s patient, observant, and has transitioned from jumping in to try and fix any bump in my road, to asking “Do you need me…