Last week a good friend of mine commented on how rarely I write about being discouraged, depressed, sad, or even angry about the fact that I have memory and cognitive loss. She added, “You have many positives going for you: a very supportive family; you’ve lived in the same small town for thirty years and…
MCI (Mild Cognitive Impairment)
On this blog, I share my story of coping with an MCI diagnosis, how it has affected my lifestyle and the tools I've learned to preserve or improve my quality of life. Click here to learn what the condition is, and click here for my introduction to MCI.
Adaptations, adjustments, alterations
Exercise is one of the consistent recommendations for maintaining and stabilizing one’s cognition and memory. Two of the standard suggestions are walking and yoga, and I do both. I live in Minnesota, so walking is often weather-dependent. On good walking days, my husband and I take our two dogs on a short ride into town…
I matter
This past week I experienced a major shift in my emotional reaction to my memory and cognitive losses. I have often focused on what I have lost and what I can no longer do, and projected on the future…picturing myself being of less and less value to my family, my friends, my community. During these…
Clutter, sorting & downsizing
I’ve lived in the same house for thirty two years. We built it when our children were in high school; it is a beautiful home in a beautiful setting. We have a view of the Mississippi River from our front windows and back up to acres of native and undeveloped tree-covered bluffs full of wildlife…
Body memory and making love
I’m posting this essay on both of my blogs; here at virginialaken.com which deals with MCI and at hopeforcouples.com on which I write about aging and intimacy. I’m doing so because emotions and love are integral components of both areas—at least in my experience. While I try to be generally optimistic, stoic and hopeful—(certainly, I…
My new approach for with negative thoughts
“A negative thought can be sensed before it reaches the mind…” When I read this discerning statement this morning during my mediation time, I wrote in my journal: “I would add, in addition to negative thoughts, the same is true of thoughts of loss and self-pity. So many times I focus on what I can…
Caregiving for myself
Throughout my journey with MCI, my caregivers have played an evolving and ever more important role in my quality of life. Keith is an excellent caregiver—and getting better all the time. He’s patient, observant, and has transitioned from jumping in to try and fix any bump in my road, to asking “Do you need me…
Why I have difficulty asking for help
Last week I had coffee with two women who, inadvertently through their conversation, helped me gain insight into why I have such difficulty asking for help. Both of these women were—I’m guessing—twenty to thirty years younger than me (I just turned 72 this past March). Each woman had, for at least the past eight years,…
“You seem just fine…like nothing’s wrong.”
Recently a good friend of mine, whom I haven’t seen in almost a year, invited herself over for lunch (a common occurrence, now that I’m no longer driving). She is my daughter’s age, with two children in college; one just finishing a year in Italy and the other in his last year at school on…
Evolving family dynamics
Dealing with MCI continues to be an uncharted journey, not just for me but also for my husband/caregiver and my family. Just when we seem to have established a routine for how we all work together and life seem to be humming along pretty smoothly—things change. In my experience with MCI, the illness itself ebbs…