This past week I experienced a major shift in my emotional reaction to my memory and cognitive losses. I have often focused on what I have lost and what I can no longer do, and projected on the future…picturing myself being of less and less value to my family, my friends, my community. During these…
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Clutter, Sorting & Downsizing
I’ve lived in the same house for thirty two years. We built it when our children were in high school; it is a beautiful home in a beautiful setting. We have a view of the Mississippi River from our front windows and back up to acres of native and undeveloped tree-covered bluffs full of wildlife…
Body memory and making love
I’m posting this essay on both of my blogs; here at virginialaken.com which deals with MCI and at hopeforcouples.com on which I write about aging and intimacy. I’m doing so because emotions and love are integral components of both areas—at least in my experience. While I try to be generally optimistic, stoic and hopeful—(certainly, I…
My new approach for with negative thoughts
“A negative thought can be sensed before it reaches the mind…” When I read this discerning statement this morning during my mediation time, I wrote in my journal: “I would add, in addition to negative thoughts, the same is true of thoughts of loss and self-pity. So many times I focus on what I can…
Caregiving for myself
Throughout my journey with MCI, my caregivers have played an evolving and ever more important role in my quality of life. Keith is an excellent caregiver—and getting better all the time. He’s patient, observant, and has transitioned from jumping in to try and fix any bump in my road, to asking “Do you need me…
Why I have difficulty asking for help
Last week I had coffee with two women who, inadvertently through their conversation, helped me gain insight into why I have such difficulty asking for help. Both of these women were—I’m guessing—twenty to thirty years younger than me (I just turned 72 this past March). Each woman had, for at least the past eight years,…