This post is inspired by an email I wrote recently to a close friend.
It seems I’m getting ‘tired’ of the symptoms of Alzheimer’s, along with knowing I will not get better—only worse. My ego reminds me of ‘what I was’ and the other side of that ego reminds me of ‘what I no longer am’. It must be similar to a person who experiences change in physical capabilities and has to learn how to cope. I was very good friends with a woman who was blind since birth. She always seemed so accepting and adaptable. I get so frustrated with myself when I think of her and then realize my self pity.
Just ‘being’ is a tremendous gift, and it isn’t the only gift, in my backpack. Being able to write is at the top. I want to help people who don’t have this condition to better understand it. And for those who have the disease to help their families understand some of the many ramifications of their memory loss (which of course also affects anyone who has contact with them).
I urge them not be ashamed, which I know is difficult, especially during the ‘early years,’ when everyone in the family as well as friends are learning new coping skills, and walking on eggshells. And as with all new learning, there are mistakes, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and shame and embarrassment. But we get over it, only if we acknowledge it.
Okay that’s about all the thinking I can do right now, partially because I’m hungry and the ice cream is the freezer is ‘calling me’, and because my mind starts fading quicker and quicker these days.
Once again I thank anyone who is reading this. If you know someone who might be helped by my writing, please share.
You, my readers, are my ‘gifts’ that acknowledge my worth.