February 20, 2022
The landscape outside my window can only be described as a black and white picture of beauty: enough snow to cover the ground, while the trees on the bluffs stand sturdy, upheld by their black trunks against the contrasting pure white snow at their feet. Even the frozen Mississippi appears still, although I know the water is flowing freely underneath, seeking its outlet to the sea. I continue to thank God for this beauty and for placing me on this enchanted piece of the planet. Even after more than twenty years, it continues to charm me with its beauty.
But this morning my insides are not very easily calmed, as I continue to struggle to recall events and past happenings that seem as scrambled as the bits and pieces of a new jigsaw puzzle scattered on a table. My attempt, of course, is to put them back together again…which is possible with a puzzle, but often not so much with my memories. A frustrating, repetitive occurrence.
This evening we are going to Beth and Carew’s (our daughter and son-in-law) for dinner. The ‘grands’ who live in town, along with their significant others, will join us. I will enjoy hearing about their lives and activities, but will offer little, if anything. Perhaps a few questions and encouragements to ‘say more.’ Still, I hold these times to be precious as well as fragile. This always brings me back to my parents as the aged: Did I do enough to assure them of how important they were to my life? Was I kind to them, even as a teenager? Did I ever tell them that their marriage was an inspiration and role model to mine—which fortunately turned out to be as equally kind and loving? Do I tell my children often enough how much I love them and how proud I am of the kind, generous, and gracious adults they are?
I think not; but I try.
The same is true of my dear College Girls1 : who have been soul mates, for all these many years. They have been my confidants, great communicators and conversationalists, as well as some of the very few people that can make me laugh out loud. As role models they have each demonstrated courage, compassion, and wisdom, even during extremely difficult times in their lives. I love them like sisters, and at times they have held the role of counselors, librarians, fashion consultants, and comedians.
Writing this post once again reminds me of the fullness of my life. I’ve traveled, homesteaded, birthed and loved two children, five grands and their partners, as well as a ‘great’ to one great granddaughter and soon to be to a great grandson.
I have a wonderful life partner. And I live in an enchanted valley.
I apologize, as I realize I’ve written similar posts such as this in the past. It is truly strange that one can experience memory loss for so many pieces of one’s life, and yet be able to repeat over and over again other aspects. Well, thank you for your patience…
And please, if you will, give me feedback on ideas you would like me to write about, or explore more.
1 Keith designated this name for us…we love it! Sounds so young.