October 11, 2021
I’m getting more and more confused regarding my postings…did I send this one to my editor for editing and then publishing it? Do I need to write a new post? What did I do yesterday? Did I eat breakfast? Have I walked on the treadmill?
These lapses truly, truly annoy me, baffle me, stimy me, and cause me sadness. I feel like Alice lost in Wonderland, not knowing which door to open. It’s certainly not a good feeling, and I know it will continue to get worse as life continues to fade out.
I am still able to write in my journal every morning, because I can see what I wrote the day before. I can still walk alone on our street because it is right below our house and the landscapes are familiar. I can still remember my children and grands and even my great grand because I can see pictures they send. But ask me what day of the week it is or what I did yesterday—well that would be a challenge without referencing my calendar.
I’m no longer able to participate in the Memory Studies I was in, because my memory is so very bad. I’m sorry about that, because it helped me feel as if I was needed “due to my memory decline!” Now I feel as if I truly am just passing time, repeating my daily tasks, feeding the chickens and ducks, walking the dogs, picking weeds, and writing my granddaughter who is in her first year of college and is somewhat homesick. I embroider to pass the time. But I question what do to better the Universe? Perhaps my posts, but I question if they are providing any sort of wisdom or purpose.
Okay, enough crabbing! The sunrise this morning was beautiful. The fall foliage is becoming more and more colorful with each day. I’m watching Anne of Green Gables on Netflix, which I never read as a young girl, and am enjoying it immensely (an Anne expression) and in addition, one of my ‘gals,‘ Linda, sent me two books of her written stories. I’m saving them for when I’ve finished watching the series.
Such trivia! Thank you to those of you who patronize me by reading my posts. I truly appreciate your steadfastness.